unit 6 - universal loving kindness

1. Practice the universal Loving Kindness (meditation) exercise on p. 93.

Ok, so I tried this and struggled (as usual) it was too overwhelming to try and focus on everyone (think back to my difficulties with the previous Loving Kindness exercise). So, I narrowed it down to the immediate people in my life. It made it a little easier to focus on my immediate family. My 19 year old son – came to mind. Things have been trying with him lately, he's  flexing his grown up muscles, making decisions I’m not crazy about, but still trying to do the right thing. So my mind has been crammed with thoughts of making sure he’s on the right path.  It’s exhausting, I may worry too much and it may just be that what he’s doing is age appropriate.  There, more positive.  I also began to focus on my 14 year old daughter, who has made it her mission to roll her eyes every time I speak to her.  I know this is just what I should expect at her age – but two teens in the house can make it crazy. I finally started to focus some positive energy on both of them and felt myself begin to relax. It was challenging but at some point I relaxed and let go.  Aromatherapy would have made this so much easier.

2. Complete the Integral Assessment discussed in chapter 11 (p.115)

This assessment was very enlightening. My psychospiritual aspect of life needs significant improvement. I am relatively emotionally stable, but I feel so much pressure as a single parent, fulltime student with a very stressful work environment. I want to be supportive and nurturing but I feel like I have no support.  I really need to focus on my emotional life.

3. Describe the exercise and assessment process. What did you discover about yourself? What area have you chosen to be a focus of growth and development? Why? What are some specific exercises or activities that you can implement to foster greater wellness in this area?

I discovered that I need to seriously focus on myself – I always put others first and when I put myself first, there is guilt. Everyone around me says I am so strong.  I am really just a great pretender.  I need to be able to ask for help and support and find ways to deal with my own issues. I am working on my approach to my professional life and I am learning to set boundaries so I can reduce the impact work has on me.  I realize the work stress is unnecessary, but my psychospiritual part of my life needs work.

Part of this work involves paying it forward, I am speaking at two events – One is a vigil for victims of sexual assault who didn’t make it.  The other is a March for Sexual Assault Victim’s Rights.  It is scary, but I am lucky to have survived a very public case and I am thriving not just surviving.  If I can inspire just one person, then I am doing well in the world.

 

Dacher, E.S., (2006). Integral Health: The path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA:

Blogs I responded to:

http://www.kaitlintakesonlife.blogspot.com/

http://yahweysinspirationalcoffeebreak.blogspot.com/2013/04/hello-everyone-love-kindness-exercise.html?showComment=1365406978596#c1260146910361790994

Unit 5 - Connecting mind body and spirit

Compare and contrast the Loving Kindness exercise and the Subtle mind exercise. Explain your experience including the benefits, frustrations etc.

Completing both the Loving Kindness and Subtle Mind exercises, I noticed that I was somewhat agitated as the speakers spoke.  I must admit I found the water sounds very relaxing.  As I stated before,  the  loving kindness exercise was challenging for me since I was sick and dealing with a head cold.  In retrospect, I was a bit self centered and   all I could think about was my own discomfort and all of the pressures I was dealing with in my own life.  In completing the subtle mind exercise,  I had a little more success but it was still a struggle.  The rushing water seemed to make my mind more calm but the voice of the narrator irritated me and caused a bit of chatter in my brain.  This may be because I feel like I suffer from noise “overload” at work and home.  I need quiet – not soft noise.  I work with 400+ young adults and teens and never have a moment’s peace.  The benefit of these exercises is that I am learning what works for me and tapping into the things I need to do to achieve a clear mind. 

Discuss the connection of the spiritual wellness to mental and physical wellness. Explain how the connection is manifested in your personal life.

Spiritual wellness is an integral tool to mental and physical wellness.  The three elements of wellness are interdependent .  When one  is missing, we are unbalanced.   According to Dacher (2006), it is virtually impossible to reach the subtle mind-body experience without development psychospiritually.

Meditation has become a way of life for me for over the past year. Practicing meditation is helping me developed my listening skills. My mind is clearer, and I make better decisions and accomplish things with more ease. The practice clears the confusion from my mind, assists with focus. This has directly affected my physical well being. When I integrate my swimming regimen, I receive a significant sense of renewal. and my overall mood is greatly improved.  Your emotional well being plays such a vital role in your physical energy.

Dacher, E.S., (2006). Integral Health: The path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA:

Unit 4 - loving kindness mental workout -

My post name is not as fun as I normally would use - but at least I know it can be easily found...

1.        Describe your experience. Did you find it beneficial? Difficult? Why or why not? Would you recommend this to others? Why or why not?

My experience with the Loving Kindness mp3 was challenging at best.  Partially because I have been fighting the flu all week  and have a terrible headcold,   partially because I cannot seem to relax enough to stay focused. When I started this class I was excited because I hoped this class would provide some magical answer to my inability to relax my mind.  So far, it’s been the opposite for me – causing me anxiety.  I would recommend the Loving Kindness to my son because he may benefit from it. Meditation and relaxation must be tailored to each individual.   In spite of my own personal experience, I am trying to stay open as it may help some of the people I work with.  I realize that each person is different and you have to find what works for them.

2.        What is the concept of "mental workout"? What does the research indicate are the proven benefits of a mental workout? How can you implement mental workouts to foster your psychological health?

A “mental workout” is exercising the mind  just like you would exercise your body.  Like physical fitness – mental fitness must be done on a consistent basis.  There is no magical pill.  Research shows that consistent daily practice will show proven results (Dacher, 2006).

I am slowly incorporating mental workouts into my daily life. Because of my chaotic lifestyle and schedule, I have found the best and most effective time for this is during my physical workout. My grandmother suffered from alzheimers. For me personally,   a healthy mind is more important than being physically fit.  If you have your faculties, you can do a better job making decisions that are right for your physical health.  Slow and steadily, I am trying to implement mental workouts in other parts of my life.  It is challenging but I am also starting to incorporate mental and emotional breaks in my work day.  Instead of imploding – I will take a walk to the beach (I work on the boardwalk and actually never see the ocean most days).  I realize that I need to take in the environment and appreciate the landscape where I work.  This allows me to return to my office and feel 100% better mentally and emotionally.  I deal with challenges much better after these mini breaks. 

I actually returned to school to increase my focus on my mental health.  I needed to do something just for me. 

Dacher, E. (2006). Integral health: The path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

on the right path

Based on my honest reflections, I am far from my goal of optimal wellbeing.

On a scale of 1 to 10 I rate myself as follows:

Physical Wellbeing – 5

I have a lot of work in this area.  I am on the right path.  3 years ago I weighed in at 105 pounds overweight – morbid obesity.  Although I have lost 55 pounds to date  - I am still considered obese.  I feel 100% better – take much better care of myself – have improved my diet – but I know I am far from my goal of being a healthy weight.    I suffered from a fractured L5 and two ruptured discs as well as a myriad of other ailments.  In the past year – my pain is minimal and I listen to my body.  I still know that this is a life long journey for me to achieve physical wellness.

Spirit Wellbeing – 3

I am an infant on the path to spiritual wellbeing.  I have just begun to study Buddhism and this is helping me to become a more spiritually enlightenend being.  I work at this daily – it is hard sometimes to keep faith and not fall into old patterns.  The religion I was raised in contradicted my beliefs and I rebelled for years.

Psychological Wellbeing – 7

I have grown leaps and bounds in the past  two years.  I went through a critical period of time and my psyche was damaged beyond recognition.  I am finally starting to feel like myself – comfortable in my own skin. Connecting to people close to me – setting boundaries.  I suffer from PTSD and I have new ways to cope with it.  This past year I “came out” as a victim of sexual assault and have sat on a panel to help advocates understand victims.  This has been quite empowering.  I am still a work in progress but I am feeling shiny and new again.  My self-esteem is almost there – but I am more forgiving with myself when I mis-step.

   Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).

Physical Wellbeing Goal – Get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep per night.  The sleep deficit directly impacts my workout, my outlook and my eating habits.

Spiritual Wellbeing Goal – Seek out guidance in others.  My journey so far has been solitary and it is important to open up to others for guidance.

Psychological Wellbeing Goals – Allow myself to be vulnerable – ask for help – I don’t have to go through things alone.

The exercise "The Crime of the Century" felt kind of silly - his voice is really annoying.  It's one of the reasons some people think of holistic wellness as quackery.  I know this not to be true - but nonetheless  - this was a waste of time for me.  Very melodramatic

NEW SCHOOL....UGH

So I was super excited about this new wellness class and then it happened - my first discussion question grade was a 76% - As childish as it sounds I am so disappointed.  Partially with myself and partially with the expectations for my FIRST discussion board post.  I had no idea that my discussion board post had to be based primarily on the class materials.  I am completely interested in the subject but honestly find the reading material a little DRY at best.  It's a struggle to read it at times. 

Not sure how I'll turn this one around.  For a first post - I think the criteria was a bit harsh!  So here I am instead of settling in and ramping up I'm stressing - hardly the way I thought this term would be.

Monique - A Girl on the Verge...

My name is Monique and I made the decision to pursue my degree in Health and Wellness after a number of incidents and events that put me into a transition into a more positive healthier life.  In the past few years, after experiencing a number of traumas and tragedies, I decided to take control of my life.  I was fortunate enough to find a doctor who treated me from a holistic perspective.  I have started to think of my life as an amazing journey and this has made all the difference.  I falter, I have my challenges (I can be my own worst enemy) - but employing some of the things I've learned has helped. 

It is hard letting go of old habits and thought processes but I am determined more than ever to find balance and inner peace.  This is just one step in my process.

riding the wave....

I woke up yesterday with a sense of purpose - headed to the pool after the first half of a VERY stressful day.  I was running late but determined to still make it to the gym where I could regenerate and reflect on my day with a new and improved outlook.  I have this sense of entitlement as one of the only consistent "swimmers" at 24 hour fitness.  Much to my suprise there were swimmers in both lanes.  The man in my lane was a "lumbering" type of man or in plain terms a LANE HOG.  I tried to peacfully co-exist and hit the water with him but he wouldn't stay in his lane - he kept splashing and his arms hit MYside of the pool - I couldn't focus, I couldn't get into my groove - it caused a certain level of anxiety - I began to give him the stink eye each time he would pass me in the lane.  It felt like swimming in a choppy ocean with waves bouncing all over the place.

For the first time in months I wasn't queen of my domain.  I could not control my experience.  Eventually I left the pool - packed up my aqua equipment and headed over to the jacuzzi.  For the first five minutes I sat in the water and stewed at the man - each stroke was an annoyance to me and a reminder that I couldn't do what I wanted to - that he was somehow doing this on purpose to MAKE me leave the water.  To add insult to inury - he finished 6 minutes later.  Are you kidding me?  I  abandoned my workout just for him to finish his????

I then realized as he walked over to the shower - he was oblivious to me.  I wasn't even a consideration - he had no clue how annoyed I was or even that I had left because he was a TERRIBLE swimmer.  I had to laugh to myself.  I had put such importance on something and allowed someone else to ruin my moment.  My internal dialog was the source of my anxiety.  I headed over to the steam room and meditated for about 10 minutes - (realizing afterwards I probably annoy some of the people who go to the steam room) - I felt 100% better.  I needed to focus on me and what my issue was.

In short - for my own health and wellbeing - I have to learn how to RIDE the WAVE.  People will not always stay in their lane - they won't always be considerate and most times they are oblivious to the way they impact someone else.  I am working on this - day by day - moment by moment.  I realize this is my kryptonite.