riding the wave....

I woke up yesterday with a sense of purpose - headed to the pool after the first half of a VERY stressful day.  I was running late but determined to still make it to the gym where I could regenerate and reflect on my day with a new and improved outlook.  I have this sense of entitlement as one of the only consistent "swimmers" at 24 hour fitness.  Much to my suprise there were swimmers in both lanes.  The man in my lane was a "lumbering" type of man or in plain terms a LANE HOG.  I tried to peacfully co-exist and hit the water with him but he wouldn't stay in his lane - he kept splashing and his arms hit MYside of the pool - I couldn't focus, I couldn't get into my groove - it caused a certain level of anxiety - I began to give him the stink eye each time he would pass me in the lane.  It felt like swimming in a choppy ocean with waves bouncing all over the place.

For the first time in months I wasn't queen of my domain.  I could not control my experience.  Eventually I left the pool - packed up my aqua equipment and headed over to the jacuzzi.  For the first five minutes I sat in the water and stewed at the man - each stroke was an annoyance to me and a reminder that I couldn't do what I wanted to - that he was somehow doing this on purpose to MAKE me leave the water.  To add insult to inury - he finished 6 minutes later.  Are you kidding me?  I  abandoned my workout just for him to finish his????

I then realized as he walked over to the shower - he was oblivious to me.  I wasn't even a consideration - he had no clue how annoyed I was or even that I had left because he was a TERRIBLE swimmer.  I had to laugh to myself.  I had put such importance on something and allowed someone else to ruin my moment.  My internal dialog was the source of my anxiety.  I headed over to the steam room and meditated for about 10 minutes - (realizing afterwards I probably annoy some of the people who go to the steam room) - I felt 100% better.  I needed to focus on me and what my issue was.

In short - for my own health and wellbeing - I have to learn how to RIDE the WAVE.  People will not always stay in their lane - they won't always be considerate and most times they are oblivious to the way they impact someone else.  I am working on this - day by day - moment by moment.  I realize this is my kryptonite.